Did You Know I was the Daughter of a Princess?

I am! My mom, Elaine Soloway, just published her new book, The Division Street Princess. It is available for purchase on Amazon TODAY!!!!
Right here!

The Division Street Princess is set on Division Street in Chicago, long before it was trendy and smack in the middle of when it was a post-shtetl urban jew 'hood. My mama's book takes you right there, to the center of it all. Her book is so beautifully written, with every little detail perfectly captured... the cigar smoke, the chicken fat, the scratchy radio, the uncles named Hy and Nate, the various Minnies and Roses and front stoops and dangerous Italian boys...

Speaking of mamas, have you ever thought, I wish I could get my mom a book like Jill's, except for the fact that my mom thinks it's very, very rude to discuss bowel movements in public? Worry not. Forget that last minute phone call the Friday before mom's day to your sister saying HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANYTHING YET???!!!! You are but
One-Click away from successfully completing all of your Mother's Day obligations. And most importantly, at the moment, my mother's Amazon ranking is nearly 100,000 better than mine, so, in the spirit of Mother Love, let's keep it that way.

I loved her book, and I can't wait to hear what you think of it.

mosiach now!

could you imagine a jewish american idol? It's the first step to a jewish president, which is the first step to a woman president, which is the only way to worldwide peace, in short!

Anyone--- either tell EVERY JEW YOU KNOW or keep it to yourself and don't tell a soul, still not sure what would work best. I have it on authority (his mom) that Elliot Yamin is indeed a Jew. I was at the results show and we asked her and she said that yes, yes, yes, they are o' le tribe.



He almost got kicked off last week so next Tuesday start your Pesach season right by voting voting voting for Elliot Elliot Elliot.

jesus it's fun to be jewish again

the evidence: today's NY Times. I'm riding the Zeitgeist, baby, as proven by heaping portions. Plus, this coming Thursday night, April 6th, at 9:30 Ronna and Bev host the Passover themed Kosher Comedy and I do some stand up that's way too Jewy for the goyim. JEWS ONLY!!!!!

For non-Jews, or people who wanna see something else first, there's Sit n' Spin at the Comedy Central Stage at 8pm, with the usual Bungalow after, which I plan to get to late after the UCB show. This show features the particularly insane Davis McHenry in a rare performance, plus other guests: rick overton, bill rutkoski, vance degeneres and tom saunders. See the boys at sit n spin, the girls at UCB. For sns rezzies-- the show is incredibly free-- call 323-960-5519.

PRO-ANA ONLY!!!

From now on this blog will be pro-ana only. No normals or pro-mias will be tolerated.

So far today I've eaten three skittles, a bowl of Good Friends cereal, leftover cornbread and 1/4 of a cantelopue, balled.

Come to think of it, I'll start being pro-ana tomorrow and stay like I am for the rest of the day.

Maybe I'll put this obsessive energy towards something worthwhile. Like a pilot idea! Pilot season's not over yet! It's called Pro-Ana Frank and it's about a girl in Nazi germany who escapes from her attic and time travels to modern Westlake Village where she starves herself before Spring Break Aruba so she can be the very first one of all of her friends to get raped and murdered this year! Then when she gets to heaven she's reunited with her Bubbie who was killed in the camps, so it's actually a happy story. If any network execs are reading this I know it's just a start but I'm about to take a bong hit so I should have the rest by mid-day.