i like these crazy indians

this is the link to it...

lesbian hairstyles

This is a photograph of a lesbian. This is not a picture of my sister Faith. But this is a link to something my sis, rock opera creator Faith Soloway, did on stage in Boston a few years ago. I love it so much. It makes me laugh, yes it do. When I was writing this post the link wouldn't work so if it doesn't, go to www.faithsoloway.com and go to the Jesus Has Two Mommies thingy, then click on media, then pick mp3 files, and choose a song called Lesbian Hairstyles. As long as that takes, it's still better than going out and seeing Failure to Launch. Plus maybe, after you have done all that, you can come back here and I will have figured out how to link right.

MAN COUGHS UP 40-YEAR OLD NAIL

That has nothing to do with this but I found it particularly eye-catching as one of the revolving headlines when I turned on my AOL this morning. Hopefully it caught your eye as well.

Art is ready. Link is ready. Let's all buy our tickets to: The Soloway Sisters Do Joe's Pub (I guess it has another name but I forget what it is) in NY on March 16th! Me and my sis! Together again, hosting even. Make it a March 16th to remember.

remember when we all had blogs?

I think that's what we're gonna be saying in about 2008.

Now comes the time for more shameless self-promotion and show-shilling. This one is a bit like a dream come true show, hosted by my sister Faith and me, with special guests including Jessi Klein who I love love love and Jessica Chaffin and Jamie Denbo as Beverly and Ronna, who you saw if you came to Heaping Portion.

Jews Who Fight is a performance to showcase Reboot's magazine Guilt and Pleasure, a literary journal of sorts put together by the brilliant and beautiful Canadian, Mirelle Silicoff.

It's goin' down at 7pm on Thursday March 16th at Joe's Pub at the Public Theater in NY, so if you have friends out there, direct them to this
link immediately so that they might purchase tickets.

how did the world get along before I blogged?

I love this man more than he knows. I will go to see him wednesday night at skylight. maybe you will too. he will be at a few other places while he is here in LA as well

Feb. 15- 7:30 – LOS ANGELES, CA, Skylight Books, 1818 North Vermont Ave., Los Feliz

Feb. 16, 7:00 – PASADENA, CA, Vroman’s Bookstores, 695 East Colorado Blvd.

Feb. 21, 7:30 – LOS ANGELES, CA, 826LA, Sparc Building, 685 Venice Blvd., Venice, $20 (all proceeds go to 826LA the tutoring center started by Dave Eggers). For more details to: http://www.826la.com/

we like girls like us part two

today's post is a whoopeee wahoo yessiree yay go to a woman I love who is working with another woman i love. the first lady of whom I speak is sera gamble.

she is a friend from forever ago who clearly has fantastic eyebrows. She currently writes on the WB(nee CW) show Supernatural, but has a whole other career as a writer-writer. She has written a dirty short story about a girl making a golem. sSusie bright went and found it and put it in her latest book, Best American Erotica, which is now OUT and available to buy.

As you know we love susie, and we love sera (she and her writing partner raelle tucker who I also looove were in the very first box and blow shows-- which were the precoursers to sit and spin), and o' course we love BAE (it published Courtney Cox's Asshole lo so many years ago). So share the love and buy the book.

And then, when you're done looking at susie's interview with Sera and buying the book, go and see The Sera's website.

nothing

much to say, just getting ready for le heaping portion show tonight. berry excited. tomorrow night the writing staff of six feet under is nominated for a writer's guild award so there's that coming up too. maybe we will win. probably we will not. we usually don't win. in the meantime here is a photo I just love. it's of my mom, my cousin and my grandpa. i feel that it sums up some very essential emotion from my childhood.

also, funniest thing ever

not to take anything away from anyone who wants to take a cross country flight of fancy as you've been instructed in my previous post, but I just got this in my email and it must be shared because it is so gosh darn adorable...

there is a boy in bosnia

whose name is alexander, which you would know if you were one of the ten people who've been reading the comment section since I started blogging. alexander has written a tribute story to courtney cox's asshole which is much, much better than my original. he has secretly and stealthily linked to it for your reading pleasure in one of said comment sections, but i will hereby openly link to it so that everyone can catch a whiff of a little alexander for themselves...

the show appears to

be sold out-- heaping portion that is-- so now I will permanently move on. Today I wax poetic about a performer I saw last week at UCB. I really can't say enough about how blown away I was by the brilliance of this lauren weedman girl. A lot of it is said in her website. The show I saw, Wreckage, just closed, but there will be more of her. Anytime, anywhere this girl is performing go and see her and love her up. She rocks like crazy.

as a lady who is

obsessed with whatever I am into at the moment, I will continue to use this space to promote the Heaping Portion show until it's all sold out. This is why you must go to the website and make a rezzie. Then I will stop and blog about Project Runway again.

Anyway, today's update is about one monique powell, the talented and beautiful lady who will be singing and making music at the show. That's a picture of her. And this is her website.

Also, some exciting news: it appears that Silver Lake Wine is going to give us free red booze to pour for the blessings. Remember, you don't have to be Jewish, or even like Jews, to come. Just free wine. And free magazines. The folks at reboot (who inspired the event) are sending a bunch of their new magazine called Guilt and Pleasure for us to hand out as special gifts. So that's two free things. I won't make the free and Jewish connexion, I'll leave it up to your sweet minds.

Also, also, just below you shall find a nice clean fresh flyer that Jen made with clean, easy to read type, one that you can download to your home 'puter, or, if you are a nice caring Aunt from out of town and you have a nice young nephew who needs to meet a nice girl, you can send it along. Did you happen to notice it's at 7 and not 8? Get to the Franklin neighborhood early, shop along the little shoppies, hey have a nosh. Just want you to help you to beat Friday traffic. Love, Jill T Barnum...

o glory in it, the time has come

UCB has put up the reservations page for Heapin' Portion. Over the past few weeks, the excitement over this production was only something you could feel gurgling in your lowers, but now that you can actually put your name on the list, the revolution in hilarious, meaningful absurdly profane yet deep Jewish worship can begin. Just shut me up and go make a rezzie, that's all.

god is a moog

The tireless promotion of all things cool and jewy continues as I introduce you to God is a Moog. It's by this brilliant jewish fellow named gershon kingsley who wrote that song popcorn that you would know if you heard. He basically pioneered the "moog" sound that you have in your head from your childhood. Also, if you've ever heard the music at the electronic parade at Disneyland and it's gotten stuck in your head in a really sick way, it's because Gershon wrote that too!

This new cd I speak of is him doing all kinds of cool jewy music in his inimitable Gershon style. Here is info from Josh Kun, one of the producers of the project:

Synthesizer pioneer Gershon Kingsley's 2-CD collection, GOD IS A MOOG-- which moves from Moog versions of Yiddish chestnuts to a wild 60s Shabbat rock opera--was released today, after weeks of great press attention from the likes of Entertainment Weekly, Black Book, Urb, Time Out NY, and Fader. He also appeared on wnyc's soundcheck program, and was interviewed on the notorious suicide girls site. More info is of course always available at reboot stereophonic. We hope you love Gershon's music and his singular attempts at merging electronics with Jewish ritual, liturgy, folk song, and progressive politics.

trapped at UCB

I am so tired cause I stayed up so late last night which you very well know is not me. Maybe when Amanda Scheer Demme comes a calling I will be ready now. Last night was Melanie Hutsell's one woman show Party Mom which ya'll should come see on Jan 26th. She was beautiful and hilarious and got a standing O. People laughed and cried and laughed and then cried again.

Mel and I hung around and watched the UCB show Trapped in the Closet which is highlarious. One of the guys who hosts it is Paul Scheer, unrelated to Amanda I have to believe unless the lord is playing tricks on me. The other is this guy Aziz who I fell deeply in love with. They took apart the Trapped in the Closet videos between chapters that were played for the audience. David Cross also played the closet. Everyone was great, it kinda reminded me of old Annoyance Theater days. Packed in like sardines and lines around the block. Go and see it if you can.

look at it look at it

here's the real new flyer for the show I have coming up. note the brisket.

I cain't quit you, Chris and Cody

Those who thought The Bachelor Paris was the thing of the week are wrong wrong wrong, especially beacuse i forgot to Tivo it so I cain't comment. But upon this I can comment: Country Boys. It's so dang good. I just want to run into a holler and holler about it all day. You can pick up anywhere in it, so watch the last installment tonight. Or maybe there'll be re-runs.

I like fat guys and hot girls

At least that's what Amanda says if you keep on reading. I know, it's fashionable to hate Amanda Scheer Demme these days becuase she's the club owner person who kept all of the regular people out of her Tropicana bar at the Roosevelt. And now she's hated even more because she just started an even more exclusive bar called Teddy's and no one can get in except Jessica Simpson. They say it has a Matrushka-like VIP room inside a VIP room inside a VIP room, and that the very very insidiest room is actually Amanda's vagina.

But I love Amanda Scheer Demme, and not becuase I want in her VIPagina. I can't stay up that late. I watched Country Boys on Frontline (TIVO IT NOW IF YOU DIDN'T!) until 10:55pm last night and it practically did me in. No, the reason, I love Amanda because she's a poster child for my feminist revolution.

Much like self-aggrandizing me and Trans Boi below from Transgeneration, she has the no make-up Jewfro thing going. But unlike me, she's friends with Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan. What I say, people, is that she represents a look that is appropriate for clubbing that does not involve a thong nor a french manicure. She's also bisexual in that really cool way, where she just falls in love with people instead of genders. Plus she's a mom of two. Bisexual moms rule!

That's right, that's my thought for the day: Thongs Off to Amanda Scheer Demme! Much like my deep Santino love, I think this is more proof that I veer towards the villains. Also, if anyone knows her and she wants to do a movie of her life, please contact me, I would like to write it. And of course, the question that is so dang obvious but hasn't been asked yet, is she or isn't she a Jewess. Must know soon.



Anyway, if you want to get to know Amanda Scheer Demme, here are some of her answers from an interview she did on the Radar wesbite. The Teddy she refers to is her husband Ted Demme, who passed away a few tears ago.

Q: Was it hard to start dating again?
A: At first I went searching for someone like Teddy. I think every widow or widower looks around for their dead spouse, so I looked for guys who looked just like him. I’m a chubby chaser. I fucking love chubby guys. I don’t like skinny men — guys whose dicks I feel like I’m going to break if I spin on top of them. I guess I like fat guys and hot girls.

Q: You happen to be dating a woman now. What would Teddy think about that?
A: He’d be happy for me. He’d definitely be happier seeing me with a woman than seeing me with a man. When I lived on the East Coast I was one of the biggest dykes in New York. I worked as a doorgirl at a lot of the girl clubs there, and I really loved it. I think it’s much more common for women to hook up with women and then go back to guys.

Q: Is it hard to go back and forth?
A: Not really. It all depends on who I fall for. If I fall for a man, I fall for a man. If I fall for a woman, I fall for a woman. I wish every woman could experience what I experience. It can sometimes be confusing, but I’m never lonely.



Okay, now it's me, Jill again. Oh, that picture to the left. That's her, not me. It doesn't get more Jewy than that, does it?

hot partyin' mama

Melanie Hutsell is one of my besty-bestest friends from way back in Chicago when we did the Real Live Brady Bunch at the Annoyance Theater. She went on to be on SNL and get famous with her impressions of Jan Brady, Tori Spelling and the Tri-Delt girl.

This coming Thursday night, the 12th, as well as on Jan 26th, she's going to be performing her show over at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. It's crankin' hilarious, and I know because I directed it. So come and see it and see why Melanie is still one of the most gifted comediennes about town, about the entire land, in fact.

trans boy, goddess/ goddess, trans boy

Which one is it? Heck if I know. All I can say is that as I tap tap tap out screenplays and pilots all day, I also find the time to create newfangled attempts to synthesize religion and day-to-day los angeles life.

I am barely a Jew yet I am obsessed with Judaism, as evidenced by 9 out of 10 of these last posts. That's why I'm doing a show called Heaping Portion on February 3rd at the
UCB theater in Hollywood. You can go reserve tickets now, or reserve judgment until closer to the date.

For those who have seen
sit n spin, this show will be just like that (essays, music, even a comedy sketch here and there) except these things will be held together with the theme of the Torah Portion for that week.

For those who don't know what a torah portion is (I didn't a year ago) it's the chapters of the Old Testament (actually, Jews don't use the word Old because we consider it the Only) that we are "up to" at that point in the calendar. On Friday, February 3rd, temples all over the globe- as part of their shabbat service-- will be interpreting a Torah Portion called Bo.


And at 7pm, on Friday Feb 3rd me and a few friends will take the stage at the UCB as the sun drops and shabbat rises to figure out if we can make anything resonant/meaningful/funny/sad/deep/sacred/profane out of what's in that section of the bible.

The headlines: God told the Israelites to base their calendar around the moon. I find that pretty interesting. Plus it's the beginning of the passover story, the last 3 of the ten plagues (locusts darkness and killing of the first born). Could be something there. Who knows. If anyone reading this wants to comment in the comment section about anything related it would help me because right now it's all a bunch of hibberdy-dash to me.

It's Exodus 10-13 ish if you're playing along in your home bible. Why do we even read these stories in the first place? That's the depth of the ignorance from whence I write this post and take on this experiment in theater.

Also here is the artwork for the thing. Please come and see it.

I don't know how to love him

he scares me so.... I love him soooooo
(go santino! all the way!)

check out that big jew below from jesus christ superstar to see who santino reminds me of