don't be passover-aggressive

methinks it will be a seder to remember

for tickets click here

sup it up and contemplate your dark side

to buy tickets... click here
to learn more about ghetto gourmet, click here

Joshua Trank's YouTube hit... check it out!

Click here -- looky looky

the rejewvenation movement has a TEE

okay, maybe there's no rejewvenation movement just yet but if it does end up being something I want people to harken bag and remember when I named it. Loyal reader of this blog, you may or may not remember this symbol I imagineered for t-shirts for a play at my son's school. Meri o' verymeri t-shirts has made a bunch of them just in time for your gift giving season. And for your newly awoken Jewish pride.

So go to her website and buy one for you, plus all the jews in your life, adults n' babies alike. YUMMY JEW BABIES IN THEIR SUPERJEW ONESIES!!!! Just think about it and kvell. A perecentage of the proceeds to go Temple Israel of Hollywood, where the shirts were born, so that's all good too.





plus... look! Elliot Yamin o' American Idol wearing the shirt at their LA concert....

vodka, latka and me

I will be doing something like stand-up comedy at the vodka latka event linked to somewhere in this post. I don't even remember how to make links because I haven't blogged in so long. I wonder how many blogs there are where people get all excited and blog every day and then there isn't anything since March 2005. For awhile I was using this space to pour out my most rant-riffic thoughts, then my friend Becky and I got in a huge fight in the comments section of some stuff I wrote about working moms vs. stay at home moms. She accused me of calling all stay-at-home moms whores which I vehemently denied but now sounds like something I wish I would have said.

Why did I take her criticism so seriously? Why did it make me stop blogging? It's probably better to not blog than to blog, right? Anyway, since that time I have only been using my blog to advertise my jewy events, so I don't think anyone even reads it anymore. Which leads me to wanting to spew out my innermost thoughts in this outermost forum.

Mood today: sluggish, extreme hatred of kendra, extreme love for bridget and holly

Anyway, please note that if you come to see me perform I will be very inappropriately calling out Isla Fisher. Isla Fisher, if you're masturgoogling, I suggest you prepare yourself. Then come to Vodka Latka on December 13th ready to fight. Also, as of this writing, it is somewhat possible elliot yamin will be joining me onstage...


PJA, JDub Records, & Reboot
invite you to the 10th annual

Vodka Latka: Festival of Rights
Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Celebrate the holiday in a night of revelry featuring folk –punk rockers
Golem

Local social justice activists share a “right” they fight for during
PJA’s Social Justice Menorah-Lighting

Hanukah’s tale is spun through the minds of
comedians in Heaping Hanukkah
hosted by Ronna and Bev
featuring Jill Soloway, Eric Schwartz aka Smooth E, Craig Wright and Julie Hermelin

Vodka Latka: A Festival of Rights
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
El Rey Theater
5515 Wilshire Blvd
Los Angeles, CA. 90036
$12 if you buy now at

vodka latka tickets


$15 Day of Show

8PM Cocktails & Latkas
9PM Festival of Rights Menorah Lighting
9:30PM Heaping Hanukkah
10:30PM Golem

heaping portion 4

so you're finally ready to make sukkot a more important part of your life- but HOW? try it the heaping portion way! the latest installment happens during the day as part of temple israel of hollywood's shabbat under one roof. have your coffee and then scoot over for an amazing
chill-inducing, inspiring performance/happening at 10:45am. with jill soloway, julie hermelin, wayne federman, ronna and bev, christopher noxon, jessi klein, jamie denbo and jessia chaffin, plus music by rachel stolte and solon bixler of great northern. no rezzies necessary but get there nice and early to find your way to our performance space in the foyer of the big sanctuary. saturday, october 7th at 7300 hollywood boulevard, la ca 90046.

saturday august 26th i will be

co-hosting this show... and you will get a rare chance to go INSIDE the magic castle without knowing any magicians personally nor having a membership! i think this one will be verrrry fun. for tickets go here. for info, read the above poster. well actually, it's hard to read, just note that we will have comedy and magic and music and the new jewish hipsterism from me, jessica chaffin, jeff garlin, jeffrey ross, gregor erlich, andrew goldernhersh, adam dorn on the dee jay booth and jessi klein. special dress code! men must wear suits, women in dresses or pantsuits. or military grab or kimonos. i plan to be in a pantsuit, of course! and so ye know, it's all to celebrate the super cool magazine guilt and pleasure.

what are you doing tuesday?

july 25th

come to the borders in westwood, 1360 westwood blvd at 7:30. i will read, melanie hutsell will read and my mom, all the way from chicago, will read from her new memoir, the division street princess! it will be wonderful, i just know it....

things to come to...

check out both of these wonderful shows... laugh out loud funny, yet cry inside beautiful....

the first is my dear dear friend Maxine Lapidus' variety show at M-Bar...



and the other is my dear dear friend Paula Killen's show at UCB...



Fully Loaded: a show about the serious nature of nothing in particular but will include discourse on drugs, feminism, alcohol and sex with a single mom. We will take questions from the audience and prove that it's hot to drive a minivan.

written/performed by
paula killen & lisa orkin
directed by
shira piven

friday, august 18th and 25th
8pm / 8bucks

Upright Citizen's Brigade (UCB)
5919 Franklin Ave (between Birds and La Poubelle)

reservations/information 323 908 8702
or on-line at www.ucbtheatre.com/la

every show is different, but every show is loaded

come out come out saturday night

that be the poster but maybe it's hard to read. Ronna and Bev host Morgan Murphy, Jeff Garlin and me. Go to the ucb theatre, click on the show on saturday night and get onto the list right now!

it's finally here....

that's right people, the third installment of heaping portion. this time we're trying something different by incorporating shabbat dinner right into the show. free admission with a $10 food minimum. you sit down, a waiter will take your order and we'll provide the entertainment. the torah portion is naso (or nasoh) or numbers for you christians out there. yours truly will be there, along with heather gold, gary shapiro, neal pollack, julie hermelin, bev and ronna, and music by rachel stolte and solon bixler of great northern. once again reboot will provide a complimentary copy of their magazine, guilt and pleasure quarterly, for you to love and enjoy. so see you june 9 at the m bar. doors open at 6:30, the show starts at 7!

Did You Know I was the Daughter of a Princess?

I am! My mom, Elaine Soloway, just published her new book, The Division Street Princess. It is available for purchase on Amazon TODAY!!!!
Right here!

The Division Street Princess is set on Division Street in Chicago, long before it was trendy and smack in the middle of when it was a post-shtetl urban jew 'hood. My mama's book takes you right there, to the center of it all. Her book is so beautifully written, with every little detail perfectly captured... the cigar smoke, the chicken fat, the scratchy radio, the uncles named Hy and Nate, the various Minnies and Roses and front stoops and dangerous Italian boys...

Speaking of mamas, have you ever thought, I wish I could get my mom a book like Jill's, except for the fact that my mom thinks it's very, very rude to discuss bowel movements in public? Worry not. Forget that last minute phone call the Friday before mom's day to your sister saying HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANYTHING YET???!!!! You are but
One-Click away from successfully completing all of your Mother's Day obligations. And most importantly, at the moment, my mother's Amazon ranking is nearly 100,000 better than mine, so, in the spirit of Mother Love, let's keep it that way.

I loved her book, and I can't wait to hear what you think of it.

mosiach now!

could you imagine a jewish american idol? It's the first step to a jewish president, which is the first step to a woman president, which is the only way to worldwide peace, in short!

Anyone--- either tell EVERY JEW YOU KNOW or keep it to yourself and don't tell a soul, still not sure what would work best. I have it on authority (his mom) that Elliot Yamin is indeed a Jew. I was at the results show and we asked her and she said that yes, yes, yes, they are o' le tribe.



He almost got kicked off last week so next Tuesday start your Pesach season right by voting voting voting for Elliot Elliot Elliot.

jesus it's fun to be jewish again

the evidence: today's NY Times. I'm riding the Zeitgeist, baby, as proven by heaping portions. Plus, this coming Thursday night, April 6th, at 9:30 Ronna and Bev host the Passover themed Kosher Comedy and I do some stand up that's way too Jewy for the goyim. JEWS ONLY!!!!!

For non-Jews, or people who wanna see something else first, there's Sit n' Spin at the Comedy Central Stage at 8pm, with the usual Bungalow after, which I plan to get to late after the UCB show. This show features the particularly insane Davis McHenry in a rare performance, plus other guests: rick overton, bill rutkoski, vance degeneres and tom saunders. See the boys at sit n spin, the girls at UCB. For sns rezzies-- the show is incredibly free-- call 323-960-5519.

PRO-ANA ONLY!!!

From now on this blog will be pro-ana only. No normals or pro-mias will be tolerated.

So far today I've eaten three skittles, a bowl of Good Friends cereal, leftover cornbread and 1/4 of a cantelopue, balled.

Come to think of it, I'll start being pro-ana tomorrow and stay like I am for the rest of the day.

Maybe I'll put this obsessive energy towards something worthwhile. Like a pilot idea! Pilot season's not over yet! It's called Pro-Ana Frank and it's about a girl in Nazi germany who escapes from her attic and time travels to modern Westlake Village where she starves herself before Spring Break Aruba so she can be the very first one of all of her friends to get raped and murdered this year! Then when she gets to heaven she's reunited with her Bubbie who was killed in the camps, so it's actually a happy story. If any network execs are reading this I know it's just a start but I'm about to take a bong hit so I should have the rest by mid-day.

I just am not sure

how to post both photos and text. I use to know how, but now Blogger is stymie-ing my efforts.

The below artwork is for Heaping Portion 2, a verrrry irreverent take on the torah portion o' the week, which is called Vayikra. Heaping Portion is for anyone who has found the bible tedious but who wishes to see brilliant, funny and interesting people interpret it. If you've been to sit and spin, it's sort of like shabbat n' spin. Sit n' spin, only jewier. Will a theme emerge? will you feel the presence of god herself? Probably not. But you will be wildly entertained and there will be a food-centered gathering afterwards. At the Improv Olympic this time instead of the UCB, due to the fracas of last time....

COME AND SEE...

rose of no man's land

is the name of a book by michelle tea. I just finished reading Chelsea Whistle. Just go to Amazon and buy every single thing by her, ever.

an artist i like

is seonna hong. this is her stuff.

to all 2 people who read my blog, I am sorry I have been gone and quite busy lately consulting on Sarah Silverman's new show for Comedy Central. The world will be forever changed when it comes out of your television boxes. that much I know.

to all people who live in Los Angeles, I will be performing Saturday, March 4th at Afterbirth at M-Bar. It's produced by Dani Klein and the info is thusly:


AFTERBIRTH...
stories you won't read in Parents magazine

starring:

Greg Fitzsimmons
Emmy winning writer/producer "The Ellen Show"

Jill Soloway
writer "Six Feet Under", author "Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants"

Hutch Foster
"Love! Valour! Compassion!"

Stephanie Wilder
author "Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay"

Kathryn Grody
Law & Order:Criminal Intent

and

RENO
"Kinsey", "The Manchurian Candidate"

Saturday, March 4, 06
Mbar, 1235 N. Vine
(crnr of Vine and Fountain nr El Floridita)
Doors open at 6:30
Show starts 7:30ish
$10 with dinner reservation, $15 at the door
323-856-0036 to guarantee a seat

so come to it....